Now that I'm back, the big question seems to be "How are you different today than you were when you left for your globetrot?" In short...not as different as I had hoped.
By that I mean that I have yet to start a revolutionary computer company in my garage. And although I say that jokingly, I was, at least somewhat, hoping to get a slight understanding of what went on in Steve Jobs head when he travelled though India...but alas, I don't yet find myself any closer to Job-ness (pun intended).
I guess I should start by saying that I've put off this question for a while because I don't feel like I have a very good answer. The problem is that I don't think the answers meet expectations. I didn't have any huge revelations on a mountain top or anything like that.
When trying to answer this question, I should specify that to me "different" means "improved" in some way. Before and during this trip, I read a bunch of stuff that I hoped would help me answer this, and other similar questions. I think some of my main motivations for traveling came from Michael Crichton's book, "Travels". In particular:
"Whenever my life really wasn't working, I'd get on a plane and go far away. Not to escape my problems so much as to get perspective on them. I found that this strategy worked. I returned to my life with a new sense of balance. I was able to get to the point, to stop spinning my wheels to know what I wanted to do and how to go about doing it. I was focused and effective. In every instance, it was because I had gone away and found out something about myself. Something I needed to know."
Basically, I felt like I wasn't doing enough to control the direction of my life. For the most part, things were fine, but I was doing a lot more maintaining than progressing. Aspiring to be more focused and effective I hope traveling would help me come back ready to take on whatever was next. The first step was to seek out some 'direct experiences'. To quote Crichton again:
"Stripped of your ordinary surroundings, your friends, your daily routines, your refrigerator full of your food, your closet full of your clothes - with all this taken away, you are forced into direct experience. Such direct experience inevitably makes you aware of who it is that is having the experience. That's not always comfortable, but it is always invigorating."
This search for direct experience is where I don't think I succeeded
quite like I wanted to. Mostly because I was resistant to embracing
them. A lot of my direct experience opportunities were in times of
discomfort. Being trapped on a long and uncomfortable bus or train
ride, having to deal with difficult situations, etc...And instead of
working through them, I worked to avoid them. Although I think I got a
lot better at dealing with them, my primary method of 'dealing' came in
the form of 'ignoring'.
In a way it's funny because parts of the trip were extremely
challenging, I travelled alone for almost the entire trip and I was
very rarely in any sort of familiar, western looking, let alone english
speaking, environment. But at the same time I felt like I could have
challenged myself more.
I still need to improve on recognizing the difference between
challenging myself and just being uncomfortable. For me, having a
direct experience was a kind of Catch-22. I tended to have them when I
was at my lowest energy level and I felt like I needed to be at my best
to properly deal with them. I guess I'm still learning that a big part
of traveling is embracing the difficult situations. Looking back,
contrary to what Crichton wrote, I think I used this trip to escape,
rather than deal with, whatever was on my mind. Hopefully I've learned
from it and, in the future, continue to improve on dealing with issues
that arise rather than trying to get away from them.
As for other ways in which I'm different, there are a few on the
surface such as I enjoy and am better at bargaining, I can judge a
situation quicker, I can talk to people easier, I'm a slightly better
story teller (at least on paper) and I've gained an appreciation for
the art of conversation. Related to that is improved communication
skills. It's one thing to get/give directions in a foreign language,
but there's also learning how to convey emotion or to make sure the
proper message has gotten across. Things like never asking yes/no
questions when an open ended question will lead to a better (or more
accurately - correct) answer. Also, learning how to adjust your
personality to interact with different cultures and different
situations, from smiling with Thais to shouting at Indians, was a
valuable skill.
Lastly, something I dealt with throughout the entire trip was
developing, or improving, my sense of taste. Not just with respect to
food, but also sense of style, types of entertainment or activities,
the true value of something for sale, etc. Similarly, everywhere I went
had some sort of "can't miss" attraction. And for the first month or
so, I tried not to miss anything. After a while though, I was able to
improve my sense of what was worthy of making an effort to see and what
I could avoid without worry.
On my next big trip I'd like less:
-reliance on email
-dependence on guidebooks
-frequent changing of cities/countries
and more:
-patience with dealing with difficult situations
-knowledge of the local language and local history.
That pretty much covers all my thoughts, here's a few from friends who have been in similar situations:
Friend #1:
currently living and working in Tokyo.
has also travelled extensively off the
beaten path in europe.
The thing about travel is that its unnecessary. You don't need to go
somewhere to have a "direct experience." That's the kind of nonsense
that we tell ourselves to justify the expense hassle and time spent
getting somewhere. Its the same day everyday in Bosnia as it is in
Detroit. The people aren't any more interesting. There are no
incredible insights. Seeing a place you've never been is not
necessarily any more valuable than the shit you're surrounded with all
day everyday. It's not guaranteed to make you a more interesting or
even a more "well-traveled" person. But it usually has the effect of
heightening your awareness for a time. While you are on the road, the
fact that you're "traveling" becomes your excuse and your shield. It
allows you to experience things that are outside of your character. So
once you return travel often makes for great stories that the people
who you know in your regular life barely pretend to be able to relate
to. After such a big reward I usually find myself more willing to
grind away at the petty business of daily life. But all told, travel
is what you make of it. It's a pleasant adventure that puts you in
closer contact with your limits. Often I wind up feeling like more of
a coward and a failure while I'm traveling than I would like to admit,
so maybe I've learned about my limits by traveling and I've certainly
become more patient. I think I have a greater empathy for people in
far away places because I know what its like to live in one.
But as far as life changing experiences, I don't believe in them. I
think that if you want to have a life changing experience you can do so
without even putting down the remote. All it takes is one decision
that you continue to elaborate on until you have become the brand new
thing that you always wanted to be. Going traveling is a symbol to
other people that you are going to change some things and I think that
a lot of people are able to convince themselves that they were inspired
to change completely by some temple in some obscure place that their
friends are unlikely to ever visit (I'm glad you are too self aware to
pull one of those). But everything requires a certain amount of
delusion especially things that people "believe in." And that includes
believing in yourself.
As for me, I've realized that although being an English teacher in
Japan is an enormously good time, I'm too ambitious for it to become a
lifestyle. Its absurdly easy and far too worthless to be a career. Its
not that I think of University academia as much less of a cop out, but
at least it's a life that can be sustained indefinitely. And I'll
still have time to write.
I'll more than likely stay here for 18 months and then go back to grad
school. Yeah I still want to travel and live all over the world, but
it seems to me a much better strategy to do that as a grad student and
professor than as a part-time rent-a-friend with no future prospects.
My good friend here is 34 now and he's been at this for a dozen years.
It's like he's desperately trapped in the funhouse with no prospect of
making it to the other end. You can't imagine the tragedy of it all.
Still, he appears to be having a good time.
Anyway, as a prof, I'll have mad freetime to go traveling for months at
a time if the mood strikes me. And I can indulge my interests to my
hearts content. If I figure something interesting out, I'll write it
down. But honestly, although I still want to live in Shanghai and
Moscow and Paris, I have to make it happen in a sustainable real life
way rather than bunkin' out and having too much of a good time. I
guess you know you're maturing when you get bored of fun.
Friend #2
lived, worked in Argentina and Brazil
for the last couple of years.
How have you changed or bettered yourself, well that's only for you to
know. I think it's funny how you relate yourself to Steve Jobs and his
garage.
I think I'm improved because I know how to listen to people a lot
better and I have a greater diversity in the amount of information,
opinions and perspectives about life and global events and things in
general. I speak another language which means I can communicate a
shitload to about a half a billion people that i couldn't talk to
before. Seeing museums and mountains isn't necessarily making me a
better person so much as the people I've met. I guess to relate to
Micheal Chriton, I realized that i can handle myself in a variety of
stressful situations. I've seen myself fight and flee and used the
freedom of being alone and away to a positive and constructive end.
Traveling is a journey within...ok i just said that last one to sound
gay.
It's interesting that you say you avoided these experiences, like
pouring money on the problem to avoid it. I hate that, because those
people make it so much more difficult for the rest of us. I've often
talked to people about traveling out of fleeing or running towards
something and the merits of that. I think it's always a bit of a
combination.
I think it's gay traveling with a group, perhaps more challenging. the
thing that always surprised me was that you didn't seem to meet and
travel with anyone after such a long time. mixing and matching the
group travel is nice. You learn new things from new people all the time
that help you deal with these situations. Good call on the no ipod
thing and on travelling light.
Like i've said Adam, traveling is like having an affair and we all love
that but moving to a place is like falling in love and we all know
making love is better than a quickie hand job.
Related links:
Travels - Michael Crichton
Travels with Samantha - Phillip Greenspun
The Beach - Alex Garland
The Great Railway Bazaar - Paul Theroux
How to run away - AskMetafilter post
Recent Comments